Honesty and Integrity

Contributor: Adam Parks 

Alumnus 

Perhaps my favorite way to spend my free time is playing golf.  It is by far the most difficult game I have ever played and many times I have sworn it off only to try again as soon as I find another opportunity. I enjoy the challenge the game offers, I appreciate the opportunity it affords me to build relationships with some great people and more than anything I love the opportunity to be outside and marvel at the beauty of God’s creation!

The challenge comes with every round, desperately trying to beat my lowest score and improve from the last time.  A good golfer shoots for par, a great golfer often is able to score under par, I try not to run out of fingers counting the number of shots on each hole!  No matter your level of ability, whether playing for fun or motivated by competition, golfers always want to compare scores at the end of the day... Then comes the moment of truth, do I count the extra stroke that it took to get out of the sand when nobody was looking?  Did anybody see me pick the ball up out of the edge of the water? The fact that the question even enters my mind is evidence to the fact that we live in a world engulfed in deception, where integrity is often spoken about but rarely expected.  Where it almost goes without saying that you can skirt the truth, shave off a few strokes to gain an advantage.  Where integrity and honesty is the exception and not the norm...

Every time I go to add up my score I cannot help but think about the story I recently read about Blayne Barber, an aspiring golfer hoping to make the professional tour.  He was featured in all kinds of news reports because six days after he finished the tournament which could have earned him a spot on the PGA Tour, Barber was unsure whether he had assessed enough of a penalty on himself for possibly moving a leaf around his ball in a bunker that he called the officials and disqualified himself! He said "I continued to pray about it and think about it, and I just did not have any peace about it, I knew I needed to do the right thing. I knew it was going to be disqualification.”

I will never have to worry about making it to the PGA Tour but I do hope that I can live such a life of integrity that others will notice and be pointed to Christ!

As Jesus describes the dedicated and faithful life of the believer he encourages us not to skirt the edges of integrity like the rest of the world but instead says “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”  (Matthew 5:37)

As we have the opportunity to change our score so that we might look a little better I hope that we can remember that the way we live our lives is meant to make God look good.  Jesus says that with our integrity comes the opportunity to shine the light of Christ to those who are fumbling around in the darkness. The challenge is not to simply live a life of integrity but through your life point others to Him!

“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14-16)

Should you choose an Accountability Group or a Mentor?

Contributor: Amanda Zema

Alumnus

When I was asked to write a post on how to choose an accountability partner I was very hesitant to comply.  You see, I have been questioning the whole idea of accountability and whether it actually served any real purpose other than making people feel bad and often awkward.  In my experience, and most of those I know, it simply never really accomplished anything.  Like most Christians I know, I was introduced to the idea in Youth Group. It went something like this: you and another person were supposed to have a list of things to check up on each other about daily, weekly or as often as you two deemed it was needed. The list usually included things like Bible reading, prayer, obeying your parents, things you shouldn’t be doing, etc.  Typically for a few weeks you would keep on top of it, “So did you read your Bible today?”  “Yeah.”  “Great!”  “Did you?”  “No.”  “Oh, well tomorrow’s a new day.”  So you would run through your list and check that off as being a good Christian. After a few weeks it would start to drop off and you would feel guilty but so would the other person so you avoid each other for a bit until you forget about it altogether and move on with life.  Sure, many ministers and others would strive to make it deeper but the above example seemed to be the norm for all those I knew. 

With all this in mind, I did a survey of about 40 Christians in my acquaintance. The ages ranged from 16 – mid 60’s. The results fell sharply into two groups with the answers in each group being surprisingly similar. 

The first group will be the “Yes” group.  These people had participated in accountability with positive results.  When asked for the reasons it worked for them, the answers were almost always the same: it was a group (not just a partner) of the same gender; the focus was on breaking habits; commitment and encouragement were very high; the group was safe, challenging, more intentional, and honest.  The most interesting aspect of the “Yes” group is that it was almost exclusively men.

The “No” group also had similar answers across the board. The common denominators in the “No” group were: partners instead of a larger group; lack of commitment; not focusing on real, underlying issues; inconsistent.  This group was about equally made up of men and women.

Mentorship was also addressed in the same survey.  Interestingly of those who have had a mentor the results were always positive.  The common responses were: the mentor was an older person of the same sex; the mentor had been where they now were; there was specific change they desired to see in their lives; the mentor acted as a guide and gave plenty of grace, love, forgiveness, honesty, dedication, and wisdom; the mentor led a life to imitate, and was someone they felt safe with.  The emphasis seemed to be placed on encouragement though.  Those who had mentors saw real, concrete change in their lives.

So of those I know, and of those surveyed, mentorship is something that everyone could use in their lives. Titus 2 encourages us to adopt this method with older women instructing younger women, and older men instructing younger men. We also see this in the lives of many others throughout the Bible such as Eli and Samuel, Paul and Timothy, Moses and Joshua. Who the mentor is changes depending on where you are and what you need at the time.  

If you want to seek accountability or mentorship here are a few things to keep in mind.  First pray, pray, pray.  I can’t say it enough. PRAY! God knows what/who you need in your life to grow into who He created you to be. He wants to see you succeed so let Him lead you.  Second, accountability tends to work best in groups that are very committed to breaking habits and are comprised of people of the same gender.  If you are seeking to grow into a more mature Christian or are dealing with hard issues and need some guidance, pray.  God can guide you to the right mentor for you.  You will know they are the right one if they are the same gender, older, are an encourager, have had success in overcoming similar issues as yours, or are the type of Christian you desire to be.  Keep in mind that though accountability typically looks the same, each mentoring relationship will look different. You may see this person regularly or mostly talk on the phone.  You may have contact several times a week or a few times a month.  Don’t waste your time if most of the contact is through text or on the computer. Real relationship will not happen in that way. Last, though not least, pray. PRAY!  God knows your heart, needs, and desires, and those of everyone else. He can bring you and the right group or mentor.

Act Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly

Contributor: Megan Tucker

“He has shown you, O man, what is good.

            And what does the LORD require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy

            and to walk humbly with your God.”

                                                Micah 6:8

I’m about to talk about sex slavery, so if you don’t want to read about how there are girls being beaten and abused right this very moment you should probably click away from the screen.  I will not go into detail, and I will not be inappropriate.

But you need to know.  Right this very moment, there are thousands of girls, women, boys being beaten and abused.  Human beings, bought and sold like livestock, treated like property, and used until useless. 

I could give you a ton of sobering statistics, like how there are roughly 27 million slaves in the world today.  Or how human trafficking is the second largest criminal industry, only surpassed by the illegal drug trade, raking in $32 billion each year.  Or the fact that there are about one million to 1.5 million children trafficked each year.  Or that the average slave costs a whopping $90 USD. 

I could share statistic after statistic, but the fact is that the numbers dehumanize the problem.  There are 27 million slaves in the world, and each one is a human being, created with so much love and care in his or her mother’s womb by the God who holds the universe in His hands.  And now His creation, His child, is bound in shackles and locked in dark rooms and denied any semblance of dignity. 

A few years ago at a summer youth conference I learned of a place called Rapha House, located in Southeast Asia.  Rapha House seeks to love, rescue, and heal girls rescued out of slavery and sexual exploitation.  That summer I watched a documentary called “Baht,” and instantly fell in love with the justice being brought to lives so far away from my own.  I had the blessing of going on an awareness trip to visit Rapha House and see first hand what they do, and then I was privileged enough to serve as a summer intern at the home office in Joplin, Missouri, and now I am preparing to live in Cambodia for a year interning with them on-site.  I have met and held hands and danced with girls who have broken, terrible pasts, but still have so much joy.

But Rapha House is so much more than just a safe house.  There is so much more to the rehabilitation that goes on at Rapha than anything I could explain to you.

There’s the welcome basket each girl receives upon arrival, and there are the three meals a day she gets; there’s the bed she sleeps on, the kitchen she learns to cook in, the courtyard she plays in, the swing set she swings on.  Then there’s the house boat she receives counseling on – a literal boat floating on the water, where she can go and talk about the horrors of her short life, and then leave it there, over the water, and walk back onto solid ground.  At Rapha there is the fish pond, the rice field, the mushroom hut – where the girls learn these practical life skills of sowing and reaping.  At Rapha there are the classrooms where the girls go to school and learn to read and write, where they learn how to sew, and how to do hair and make-up.  There is the local church down a ways where the girls can go to church on Sunday mornings if they choose to, and the evening devotionals in the courtyard that she can attend if she wants to

And my favorite part of Rapha House is the cement baptismal that sits next to the church, where so many of our Rapha girls have given their lives to Christ.  Those lives given?  They are such a beautiful example of the healing and forgiveness that happens at Rapha House.  In my opinion, those lives are the most perfect picture, outside of Christ himself, of redemption and restoration.

That’s what Rapha House is really about: giving these girls a chance to find their true healing, true value in Christ - the one who molded them in their mothers’ wombs and carefully created her, even as He holds the universe in His hands.

If you would like to learn more about Rapha House, which I urge you to do, you can visit their website at www.freedomforgirls.org

For more information on human trafficking and to find your role in the fight for justice, visit any of the following sites:

www.ijm.org

www.notforsalecampaign.org

www.polarisproject.org

TIP Report 2012 at http://www.state.gov/j/tip/rls/tiprpt/2012/index.htm

http://www.floridaabolitionist.org/

UNODC at http://www.unodc.org/unodc/en/human-trafficking/faqs.html

http://www.stophumantrafficking.org/

http://abolitioninternational.org/

http://www.thea21campaign.org

http://blackboxinternational.org/

Cooking for a Crowd

Contributor: Julie Colvin

Something that I have always loved to do ever since I was a little girl was to be in the kitchen. I love creating and making wonderful delicious things that I know will bring a smile to someone’s face. Cooking for a crowd has always come naturally for me. Coming from a large family (I am the oldest of five kids) our family recipes were always built to feed many tummies. My mama always made the kitchen a welcoming and fun place to be. There is something very unique about food that brings special warmth to any relationship. Whenever I have people over there is ALWAYS food! I want people to feel loved, comforted and relaxed. Food does this.

Cooking for a crowd may seem a bit overwhelming. Take a deep breath. It’s not as bad as you think it is.

There are a couple of tips and tricks to remember when making food for a lot of people.

1. K.I.S. it!

·         Keep it simple! Keep reminding yourself of this. Whether you want to have something fancy or casual always keep it simple and easy. Don’t overload your plate before you even set the table. Meaning, there is no need to have 30 appetizers and the fatted calf if it is going to make you crazy and unable to enjoy your guests. Which brings me to point number two…

2. Your guests are the guests!

·         It isn’t about you and it isn’t about your dinner, it is about them. People notice when they are being labeled as important or not important. Make your guests comfortable. Think about what would make you comfortable when going over to someone’s house for dinner. Then think about your guests – what do they like? What type of person/people are they? Your goal as the host is to make them feel welcomed and like the center of the gathering. There is nothing I appreciate more than when the host had me in mind when planning a dinner. It makes me feel loved and valued.

3.  Meal – make it filling!

·         You have two options here: Have plenty of food or have filling food!

o   Plenty of Food: Running out of food is embarrassing and everyone feels a bit awkward. I have been on both sides of the table where I have miscounted and not had enough food for everyone – it isn’t a good feeling. I have also been a guest at someone’s house where my meal just wasn’t enough and awkward hunger possesses my mind. HAVE PLENTY OF FOOD! Here are some suggestions:

Ø  If you have 4 people coming over make a meal for 6. This will give you the option of having leftovers if people are still hungry. If you end up having two servings left over that no one ate, just eat it for lunch tomorrow or make a to-go bag for them.

Ø  Having “filling” types of food like pasta, rice, potatoes or bread will keep your guests full. Your whole meal doesn’t have to be based around these starchy foods but having them with your meal will help fill your guests. For example, sometimes I will make a big pot of chili, but have a side of rice or corn bread if people want to put their chili on top. Basically, you just doubled their meal without doubling the chili.

4. Don’t break the budget!

·         You can make meals that are wonderful and keep your wallet happy. Here are a few recipes that are good crowd pleasers and not costly.
Slow cooker recipes are great because you can build them and leave them. Clean up is easy too. Check some recipes out here! Be creative with your recipes. Have some on hand in the freezer too – this helps for last minute dinner parties.

5. Enjoy!

·         You’re building relationships over a meal; it doesn’t have to be boring or even perfect. In fact some of my favorite memories from dinner parties have been because of funny things that happened not because it was perfect. It doesn’t matter how old you are, people like to have fun AND play with their food. Having meals designed for fun mean that you want your guests to enjoy – and because they enjoy, you enjoy. Having meals like taco nights, pizza creations, potato bars or soups can help make these nights possible. People feel welcomed, and they feel the freedom to be a part of the dinner process – you are showing them that you want them in your home/kitchen.

No matter the size of the dinner party the most important thing to remember is that it’s not about you. There have been times when I have let me OCD/perfectionist personality get in the way of enjoying my guests. I have been very much a “Martha”. It is good to be prepared and to work hard, but once your guests arrive your hostess hat changes personalities and you are now focused on others. Be prepared enough ahead of your guests arriving so that you are not focused on the next task. We were designed to have relationships and sharing a meal is one sweet way of doing this.

Iron Man

Contributor: Dr. Les Hardin

Professor of New Testament

Florida Christian College



James Lowe has a lot of irons in the fire.  And I don’t mean that metaphorically. 

James Lowe collects irons—the kind you press your clothes with.  James, a long-time friend of my grandparents, recently gave me a tour of his home. 

James Lowe has every kind of iron that’s ever been made:  old-fashioned irons that were heated in a coal stove, irons you put coal inside of, steam irons, electric irons, wooden irons, glass irons, German irons, French irons, British irons, American irons, big irons, miniature irons, travel irons, toy irons, iron salt-and-pepper shakers, iron-shaped dishes … and that’s just what I can remember!  Over the years he’s collected more than a thousand different irons, and they’re all displayed in his home.  One of them won a blue ribbon in an iron show in Sarasota.  (A blue ribbon for a black iron.  Iron-ic, huh?)

I guess you could say he’s a true iron man! 

As I toured his home I was impressed by the single-minded devotion that James Lowe has for all-things iron-related.  He loves irons!  And he’s devoted himself to exploring the love of irons in every conceivable manner—in every kind of iron ever made, in every age of history, in every material they’re made from, in every size, shape, and denomination.

This single-minded devotion is exactly what Jesus desires from us.  “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your mind, and all your strength” (Deut. 6:4; Mk. 12:30). 

I used to farm with James.  He and my grandfather chopped a lot of corn together in central Kentucky.  I know James Lowe to be more than a lover of irons.  He’s also a devoted disciple of Jesus.

Can you imagine what your life might look like if you devoted yourself to the way of Jesus with this same kind of single-minded devotion?  To explore him in every area of life, every thought, every action, every spoken word, every destination, every purchase, and every relationship?

It won’t happen overnight.  It takes time and discipline.  James Lowe didn’t purchase a thousand-piece iron collection at the Iron Depot.  He collected them piece by piece, over several decades.  And he had to work for them, traveling long distances, making innumerable phone calls, visiting antique stores, attending endless antique shows.  He didn’t just come by this collection.  He worked for it.  He pursued it.  And now he’s got an impressive result!

“Give me one pure and holy passion,

Give me one magnificent obsession,

Give me one glorious ambition for my life:

To know and follow hard after You.”

--Mark Altrogge, 1988

Do you not know?

Contributor: Dr. Ruth Reyes
Professor of Music
Florida Christian College

The call to holiness is a serious matter.  Contrast that with the call of contemporary culture to self-gratification, self-promotion, and self-glory.  The path towards godly and virtuous living nowadays becomes even more confounding and just plain difficult.  Still we hear the words of the Apostle Paul in I Corinthians 3:16, in what appears to be a seemingly tone of disbelief, “Do you not know [do you not get it; do I have to explain this to you one more time] that you are a temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?” (NASB)  We know that God lives within us, but what steps are we taking to ensure that our temple is kept holy?  God decided to take residence in our heart, in our very being.  We’ve got some work to do to keep the house clean.

Do you like to take out the garbage?   I don’t.  The garbage represents everything that you want out of your house: the trash, that which stinks, which is filthy, and that which, if not thrown away, will rot away in your home and will become dangerous to your health.  In order to maintain holiness health, we have to consistently empty out the garbage of our life.

Emptying ourselves of things that encumber us or slow us down in our walk with Jesus, of things that stink up our life is the first step.  Whether we acknowledge it or not, we replace God everyday with idols – people and things that we either substitute for God or supplement God as though God is not enough to be all that matters in life.

The human heart is an idol factory that takes good things like a successful career, love, material possessions, even family, and turns them into ultimate things. Our hearts deify them as the center of our lives, because, we think, they can give us significance and security, safety and fulfillment, if we attain them. – Timothy J. Keller in Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope that Matters

           

To keep ourselves pure, we’ve got to get rid of anything that we value more than God.  Cleansing is a daily process, just like taking the garbage out.  What do you value more than Jesus or who do you treasure more than God?  What consumes you?  What is your sin that needs to be emptied out, to be released?  Is it greed?  Is it keeping up with a certain lifestyle?  Is it being anxious about anything and everything?  Is it bitterness?  Is it anger?  Is it being discontented, complaining all the time?  Is it being conceited?  Is it being selfish?  What is your garbage?

           
After emptying out the junk, pay careful attention to keeping your body temple clean.  Let God fill you with His character, His ways, and His purpose.  Saturate your life with God’s word so you can resist the temptation to invite the garbage back into your life.  Recognize God’s active presence in your life.  Paul’s poetic encouragement in Phil. 4:8-9: “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.  The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me: practice these things.”

           
Just because I don’t like to take out the garbage doesn’t mean I don’t take my turn in taking it out.  But when I do, I remind myself that this chore runs parallel to the challenge of keeping my body temple holy.  I start reciting the verse with those rebuking words: do you not know.  It takes a lot of repetition and commitment.

Hard Work? A Blessing? Really?

Contributor: Bill Hercules

Work is a curse from the beginning of time.  Anybody agree with me?  I know…  Let’s just dig ditches like a chain gang – just because it’s fun and rewarding.  Any takers?  No?

So what’s the big deal, anyway?  What do they mean by working hard?  What about hardly working?  Well, it’s just as real as gravity.  Work is a divine curse, and you can’t escape it.  You can try and pretend, but in the end when things don’t get done, you show that you’re getting better at being lazy than being effective, and God isn’t pleased.  Bruno Mars?  Garfield the cat?  Unimpressive.

So, what does hard work mean?  Why even care?  Does it really matter?

Crastination – a twenty dollar word for the state of tomorrow.  Tomorrow is the sluggard’s best friend.  They are seen everywhere together.  The problem is that tomorrow never comes – it’s always tomorrow, and never today.  In the same way, the sluggard never gets fully satisfied.  Don’t believe me?  Read the Proverbs!

 “Well, I’m not like that.  I just have better things to do than work.”  OK, so what is the most important thing?  What’s the next?  And the next?  And so on?  Guess what?  You just had to work to figure that out!  Does someone feed you?  Dress you?  Bathe you?  Brush your teeth?  Chances are you’ve outgrown complete reliance upon someone else to constantly do for you.  In fact you’d be embarrassed if someone tried.  So then finish your maturing – grow up.  At some point in your life, you will have to be accountable for yourself.  The law of the land sets an age of majority, past which you are considered an adult, and are expected by society to contribute.

“OK, I’m not like that either”, you say.  Yogi Berra was a famous New York Yankee’s catcher from the 1950s, and he had an interesting way of expressing himself.  He’d say, “If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else.”  You need a plan, AND you need to work the plan.  There’s that word again – work.  Nothing gets done unless it gets done.  A plan without work is an unrealized fantasy.  Do you think that God didn’t work to create the earth and everything in it?  Do you think he just thought it up, and had minions do it all?  If so, then why did He rest?  He worked!  And the result was VERY good.  Check this out.  Do you think you’re more clever than God?

Here’s the hard truth about working:  Your employer hasn’t just created a job for you because he wants to employ you.  He’s expecting that you will generate value for him greater than what he’s paying you.  If you do, then he’ll likely keep you or promote you with more responsibility and authority.  If you don’t, then you’re gone.

Here’s an interesting idea:  that choice is yours.  Get your head into the game; do your job well; create value beyond your immediate compensation.  You’ll find yourself in a powerful position to generate more value than you’re being paid.  You may even be offered a better arrangement.

What do I look for when I hire people?

Character – Can I trust you with my money, my contacts, my reputation, and my resources?  Can I reasonably expect you to look out for my interests?  Will you be honest and trustworthy with me and others I care about?  Will you treat others better than yourself, while still advancing my business?

Creativity – Can I expect you to approach and solve problems by considering a variety of options, and then choosing the best one?  Can I trust you to “Just do it”?

Chemistry – Will you mesh well with others, and multiply everyone else’s effectiveness?  Life is a team sport, and so is collaborative working.

Competence – Do I think you have the necessary skills and judgment for the role?  Have you convinced me that you can get it done?

Notice this list is all about ME – my, mine, I, me, etc. – the employer’s perspective.  It’s not about you.  Ouch.  That’s a hard life-lesson.  Learn it soon, and you’ll go far.  Ignore it and you’ll be outmoded by the time your 30, and will have to fight for a long time to recover.

But what does God expect?  “Wait a minute.  I thought work was a curse – by God.  Does He expect me to choose to be cursed?”  No.  He wants to bless you by enabling you to bless others.  He expects you to work to help others help others.  The apostle Paul said it this way.

If God expects effective labor by everyone, then how arrogant must someone be to believe in being an exception?  Effective work is a matter of the heart.  It teaches you about yourself, your condition, your relationship with God, your relationship with others.  The choice is yours.